I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
