Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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