how can u be prego again
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
