Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
