Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
