handjob tips. give me some.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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