today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
