in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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