It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize