I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
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He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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