Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
