You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
