he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
