We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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