Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
