So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
