Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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