You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
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It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
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Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.