Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure

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  (408): I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure http://tfl.nu/8j71
  Replies (28) Good night (401) Bad night (1581) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I don't get it.

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Me neither.

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  But I masturbated to it anyway.

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  (870): I don't get it. (501): Me neither. (501): But I masturbated to it anyway. http://tfl.nu/tklr
  Replies (23) Good night (2021) Bad night (594)
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  (585): View more from New York

  This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....

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  (585): This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time..... http://tfl.nu/b6dm
  Replies (13) Good night (3545) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.

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  (413): You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant. http://tfl.nu/uoqp
  Replies (49) Good night (1308) Bad night (4911) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??

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  (203): is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore?? http://tfl.nu/voom
  Replies (42) Good night (997) Bad night (10072) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?

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  (251): if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me? http://tfl.nu/7eei
  Replies (26) Good night (6780) Bad night (629) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care

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  (631): the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care http://tfl.nu/lqt5
  Replies (7) Good night (3726) Bad night (1046) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"

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  (914): right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit" http://tfl.nu/7x3l
  Replies (6) Good night (3112) Bad night (757) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all

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  (817): You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all http://tfl.nu/x3bd
  Replies (18) Good night (2735) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.

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  (617): Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are. http://tfl.nu/448e
  Replies (11) Good night (1568) Bad night (576) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.

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  (859): We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge. http://tfl.nu/pldc
  Replies (7) Good night (2657) Bad night (482) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes

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  (501): I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes http://tfl.nu/3ixk
  Replies (10) Good night (602) Bad night (1122) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help

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  (780): Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help http://tfl.nu/jtky
  Replies (4) Good night (433) Bad night (925) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?

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  (902): There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3? http://tfl.nu/qguc
  Replies (6) Good night (1347) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.

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  (727): It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside. http://tfl.nu/ic5n
  Replies (5) Good night (463) Bad night (215) Order T-Shirt

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