Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.