He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
