I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
