don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize