if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Randomize
