Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
