I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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