Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
