I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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