just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
