Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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