you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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