So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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