just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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