Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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