Define "chronic" masturbator.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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