Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize