sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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