Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
