yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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