Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
