you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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