His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
