Do you still have your period?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
