Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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