i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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