we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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