if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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