Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
