I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
