If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
