I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
