we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
