On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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