Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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