i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm always down for nudity.
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