My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
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I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
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you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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