some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
