There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
