found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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