Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
